Tag Archives: LOVE

Mother’s Day or Kid’s Day? Hmmm…..

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For Mother’s Day every year, I try to relax and enjoy myself.  It’s my holiday, right?  Out of 365 days in a year, I take time off from parental duty on my birthday and Mother’s Day.  Well, I still make meals and do maybe a load of laundry (reluctantly, of course) but I have coffee in bed (delivered to me by two of the cutest room service attendants ever – my kids!) and I only do things with them that day that I want to do. And trust me, this is totally out of the norm. I have been known to throw out a whole schedule of chores or plans to accommodate an impromptu request to go to the beach or the mall.

In any event, the day before I prepare my children for my mini-holiday by requesting they tell me any errands they need done so I can totally enjoy a day without my things-to-do list. I don’t need fancy presents or dinners out; I just require peace and quiet.  I love the gifts they make at school and treasure those always.  Truth be told, they have more meaning than a store bought item and I think most people would agree on that.  This year as I am giving my speech about how Mother’s Day is like my birthday, my son Zachary chimes in, “That’s not fair that you get a special day.  We don’t get a holiday.  We should get a Kid’s Day!”  This was said so innocently that I had to laugh.  “What Zac?  Are you serious?  Every day is kid’s day,”  I replied.  He retorted, “No, it isn’t.”  Say what? 

I have given some thought to his request for a special holiday.  Sometimes I chuckle to myself and other times, I shake my head in disbelief.  As children, we have no concept of how good we have it.  No one’s childhood is perfect but it is certainly more carefree than being an adult, for the most part.  I caught sight of the paper bouquet that he made for me last Mother’s Day and read his answers to the writing prompts again.  I thought of him working away at his desk at school, trying so hard to come up with answers that would please me.  Maybe he is on to something with a day that celebrates kids?  Maybe we should skip all the formality and just enjoy each other each and every day….all of it….the pranks, the complaints, the calls from the principal’s office (trust me, there is little joy in these).  One prank I won’t forget is when my two kids secretly and vigorously shook a bottle of cranberry ginger ale and then asked for a glass.  Had I been remotely astute, I would have seen the mischievous grins and glances to one another.  Of course, when I opened it, red liquid exploded everywhere and I mean everywhere!  And yes, my kitchen is white.  They were in total hysterics.  With ginger ale drenching my hair, shirt, cabinets, all I could do was hear their laughter and I started laughing and said,  “Good one.  That was clever.”  Enjoy your special day and every day as a mother!  Happy Mother’s Day!

Words of sweetness and sincerity

Words of sweetness and sincerity

 

 

Do your best, hope for the best

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The title of this piece may be the most powerful and succinct parenting advice that I have ever heard and it came from my own mother.  And it wasn’t directed at me (for a change).  I don’t have to ask her for advice; she gives it freely and without solicitation!  It is usually correct, but some days I don’t want to hear it frankly.   However, a friend of mine who is also a parent asked my mother the other day, “What is your parenting advice?”  Without skipping a beat, she said rather matter-of-factly, “Just do your best and hope for the best.  That is all you can do.”

Now, my mother is 76 years old and has always been a wise woman, but this quick and casual answer made me think twice about all the advice she has given me over the years as a child, young adult and now as a parent of my own children. And I ask myself, ‘What did I miss because I wasn’t listening fully?’  My Mom and Dad are always the first people I go to with a question or crisis about parenting or life in general, for that matter.  For example, one night when I thought my son might be headed toward having a seizure (it turned out to be a night terror but the terror was all mine, trust me!), after I called 911, I called my mother.  She was there at the same time as the EMTs, maybe even before them!  That’s just the type of dedication both my parents and my sister have had for me and my children. That is a blessing beyond belief.

Anyway, I felt it important to pass this along to my readers because it is such simple, positive advice.  I recognize that some issues and problems with children require research, attention, specialists or what have you.  However, once the work is done (which really is the parent doing their homework and doing their best), then you have to sit back and hope for the best.  The movie ‘Shawshank Redemption’ had a line by Morgan Freeman where he uttered, “Hope is a dangerous word.”  The movie, if you have seen it, of course has nothing to do with parenting but it is a powerful line delivered by an equally powerful actor.  When it comes to parenting, however, there is love, patience, courage and yes indeed, hope.  Thank you Mom for always knowing the right thing to say and caring enough to say it.

My Mom

Awww

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I have mentioned a few times here how my middle schooler has all types of expressions but one that is currently taking the prize for most annoying is “Awww”.  It started out as her sarcastic reaction to anything I mentioned that deserved a slight bit of emotion.   So, for example, I could say, “I cannot believe I forget to turn in this form.”  She would get that sly look, raise her eyebrows and I would think, maybe, just maybe, there will be a new comment.  There would be a delay…..then, “Awww” would arrive.

Then it escalated.  “Awww” started to be the automatic response to any question or comment from me.  I could say, “You may need a new school folder.  Your folder looks worn out.”  She would wait.  I wouldn’t see it coming.  Then, “Awww.  My folder looks worn out.”  She would smile and I would cringe internally.  “Really? Is this a conversation?” I would ask, trying to conceal how angry I was becoming over something so silly.  She would see my dismay and then it was, “Awww”.   Again.  An “Awww” on top of an “Awww.”  I started to wonder if she was losing her ability to communicate.  What if some bizarre “Awww” martians visited her middle school and implanted “Awww” chips in her brain.  Every time she would use it, I would try to be clever.  Fight fire with fire.  I would say, “So did they serve a side of sarcasm with your school lunch today?”  Awww.   Nothing worked.  There seemed to be no cure.

“You are not using this with other people, are you?”  “Awww.  Yes, I am.”  “Who, your friends?  Nana and Grampy?”  “Sure, with everyone.”  Why haven’t my parents mentioned it?  Do they not notice it?  Do they think it is cute?  Then it happened to me.  Someone at work mentioned how overwhelmed they were and in my mind I heard, “Awww.”  I think I said, “Hmmmm” or “Oh, I know”.  I hope it sounded sympathetic.  But my brain kept shouting, “Awww.”  Louder and louder.  I wanted to say it.  Oh no, it’s contagious.  You may leave this blog post and instead of a genuine reaction, you may be compelled to utter a sarcastic “Awww.”  I certainly hope not.  Please let me know…….because……Awww.  That would be terrible!

My daughter and I when she was 5......Awww, miss those days! But loving every stage of her life!

My daughter and I when she was 5……Awww, miss those days! But loving every stage of her life!