Book Review: Let’s Skip the Bull

I have been asked to review a lot of books since I started this website. I get asked to review about 2-3 books a week.  I love to read and I enjoy just reading the inquiries and seeing all the exciting things people are interested enough in to pen a manuscript.  I am working on my own book (s) with about 4-5 manuscripts in varying stages of completion so I understand how hard it is to accomplish such a grand task.  I don’t have time to read every book I am asked to review but one caught my eye and I could not resist.  The book is Let’s Skip the BULL – Lessons From Dad After Your Mom Died. It was written by Daryl Calfee, after the death of his beautiful wife, Johanna.  Since my Dad died four years ago, I have been seeking resources of any kind to help me through the absence of his physical presence in my day-to-day life.  

This is a beautiful book and one I would highly recommend to anyone who needs some inspiration, who needs to be reminded of the joy that has to continue after a devastating loss.  It is filled with wonderful stories and pieces of hopeful advice.  And it can really make you think.  For example, right out of the gate in the introduction Calfee writes, “The problem is, you will think you have time.  You don’t.”  Wow, that is a punch in the gut and the absolute truth.  He continues, “Stop waiting. Worrying.  Hoping the right time or thing will come along.”  He proceeds to give advice in short chapters on how to maximize your time on Earth with pleasure.  Like visiting the ocean or going on day trips.  He also gives advice for his children about keeping your promises to people and the importance of saying, ‘I’m sorry’ but it’s really for all of us.  He peppers all of this with what he calls ‘Painfully Funny Farm Stories’, which are funny and beautiful memories from his childhood that he can pass on to his children and make us laugh along the way.  

Truth is, I love this book.  I read almost the whole book on a rainy day.  I couldn’t put it down.  I felt like I was listening to a good friend of mine; a wise friend.  I could hear his voice in my head and we have never met.  And honestly, you can’t read it just once.  I tabbed chapters that I read on days when I need a little reinforcement.  Take a look at it HERE!  Or you can purchase directly from the publishing company here.  It makes a great gift for someone who has been through a loss or even for one of your children or a friend who needs some uplifting thoughts and motivation.  Or treat yourself.  If you do get it, please let me know what you think.  Until next time, let’s all skip the bull, get real and move forward!  

My signed book keeping company with my vision board!
So excited about my signed copy with tabbed pages…keeping company with my vision board!

Do your best, hope for the best

The title of this piece may be the most powerful and succinct parenting advice that I have ever heard and it came from my own mother.  And it wasn’t directed at me (for a change).  I don’t have to ask her for advice; she gives it freely and without solicitation!  It is usually correct, but some days I don’t want to hear it frankly.   However, a friend of mine who is also a parent asked my mother the other day, “What is your parenting advice?”  Without skipping a beat, she said rather matter-of-factly, “Just do your best and hope for the best.  That is all you can do.”

Now, my mother is 76 years old and has always been a wise woman, but this quick and casual answer made me think twice about all the advice she has given me over the years as a child, young adult and now as a parent of my own children. And I ask myself, ‘What did I miss because I wasn’t listening fully?’  My Mom and Dad are always the first people I go to with a question or crisis about parenting or life in general, for that matter.  For example, one night when I thought my son might be headed toward having a seizure (it turned out to be a night terror but the terror was all mine, trust me!), after I called 911, I called my mother.  She was there at the same time as the EMTs, maybe even before them!  That’s just the type of dedication both my parents and my sister have had for me and my children. That is a blessing beyond belief.

Anyway, I felt it important to pass this along to my readers because it is such simple, positive advice.  I recognize that some issues and problems with children require research, attention, specialists or what have you.  However, once the work is done (which really is the parent doing their homework and doing their best), then you have to sit back and hope for the best.  The movie ‘Shawshank Redemption’ had a line by Morgan Freeman where he uttered, “Hope is a dangerous word.”  The movie, if you have seen it, of course has nothing to do with parenting but it is a powerful line delivered by an equally powerful actor.  When it comes to parenting, however, there is love, patience, courage and yes indeed, hope.  Thank you Mom for always knowing the right thing to say and caring enough to say it.

My Mom

Countdown to a new year…5..4..3..2..

If ever there was a perfect time to do a counting exercise, it is right before New Year’s Day, right?  Everyone is counting down something.  My favorites are:  the top ten songs of the year, maxim.com/hot100/2013 (guess who is number #79?  No, sadly, it is not me!) and the top 10 celebrity feuds (always hilarious).  2013 has been a decent year.  My two children are happy and healthy.  I am blessed to have my two parents and one sister which equals family solidarity.  I launched one website and managed to post weekly blogs despite the countless things I had to put on the backburner to complete them.

So far, I have two resolutions for 2014 but I am not sharing either one of them.  I completed two resolutions last year (one was this blog) but somehow resolutions are too private to share.  Sorry, readers but I think you will agree.  I asked many people to share their New Year’s decrees and overall, people are seriously secretive about their resolutions. While I am not revealing some things, I will admit, this has been the hardest blog to write.  I don’t know why that is.  My best guess is because it is the last one of the year.  I feel I should say something infinitely profound so that you will continue to come back next year.  That is way too much pressure for me.  So even if you don’t think so, please come back anyway.

Speaking of resolutions, my daughter doesn’t have one yet.  At the time of this posting, she will have only 14 hours left to make one.  I hope she will consider the option of replacing eye rolls with egg rolls.  Who doesn’t want an egg roll or two on New Year’s Eve, right?  My son is planning to see more movies.  He didn’t give it a number but it will be more than 10, if we do it.  Ah, 10 more cartoons in 3D with those cool glasses.  How much will that cost?  About $198 without buttered popcorn.  Oh, who cares?  You can’t put a price on fun, right?  Tonight, we will have one bottle of sparking apple cider, eat at least a dozen pastries (don’t judge, they are the bite size ones!) and watch the ball drop from our 24 inch television.  Which way do you measure a TV?  Anyway, when Auld Lang Syne (bet you didn’t know how to spell it-me either!) is playing, I will tear up at least a few times when I think of how much I would like to stop the clock and relish each moment just a little longer.  I wish you all a Happy and Blessed New Year and I look forward to countless adventures together in 2014.

The Storyland clock contains an important message for all of us.

The Storyland clock contains an important message for all of us.  Enjoy yourself.  It is later than you think.